Thursday, June 18, 2009

What does it take to save your relationship?

When one is young and has not had any experience in relationships, they will often make the mistake that the kinds of relationships they will be involved with later in life are quite simple. Just about anyone who has been through a relationship or two have been through enough to know that, unfortunately, finding someone special that one can get along with involves quite a bit more than falling in love and living happily ever after. Though it may take some a little longer to realize it, good relationships take work. The relationships that will make it will have both parties willing to put the effort into making it work, while those who do not put in the effort will often find themselves in situations they did not want to be in.

Most relationships will hit a snag, or a point where one or both of the parties involved in the relationship may begin asking the question of whether or not they should be together. This point can be reached at just about any stage, depending on the couple and how they go about their lives. For example, they can start to ask these questions as early as a few months into their relationship, it could be during they engagement, after they get married, or even as much as fifteen or twenty years down the road. Life and circumstance will often have much to do with how well two stay together. Depending on what happens, relations between a couple can become strained. It could be that they are suffering from financial difficulties, the death of a child or any number of other problems like substance abuse or deep depression. Some relationships can even suffer as each involved grows and changes as life goes on. People change, and while this is normal, there are times where one or both of those involved in the relationship have changed so much that remaining in with their partner is just not ideal anymore.

When contemplating whether one should stay with their spouse or not, the first question one should ask is if they feel that they really want to fix their relationship. It does not matter if a couple are together, engaged or married, it will take some effort from both involved if they are going to stay together. If they feel that they want to save and improve their relationship, they need to talk with their spouse and express what it is that is making them feel that they need help. This is where speaking with an online counselor can help. For those who are unsure as to how to talk to their spouse or partner, they can find online therapy and speak to an online therapist who can assist them in communicating with their other half. Online counseling may seem like a waste of time for some, but for those who are serious about making their relationship work, it can go a long way to bringing both parties back together. While participating in online therapy, a couple can receive impartial suggestions, advice and views from the online counselor. It is important to remember that no therapist or counselor can make the decision for either parties, but they can be a useful guide in helping both to decide on what their next step in their relationship is.

If you or anyone that you know would care for more information regarding this post, feel free to visit http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Grieving Process

This is a guest post by Richard Moyle from the Mesothelioma Cancer Center at Asbestos.com. Asbestos.com is committed to providing the latest, up-to-date information to our visitors in the hopes of spreading awareness about the dangers of asbestos cancer.

Mesothelioma is a cancer that is caused by exposure to asbestos. This kind of cancer has an abnormally extended latency time and symptoms do not begin to show for at least 25 years following exposure. Because of this, the cancer is usually diagnosed in its later stages and is typically hard to treat. The usual life expectancy of someone diagnosed with sarcomatoid mesothelioma is about one year after diagnosis.

Losing a loved one to cancer (or any illness) is one of the most difficult things to cope with and not everyone deals with losing someone the same way. However, there is a common process that most people go through after the death of someone close to them.

British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby has presented a 4-step process that views grief through the eyes of someone who wants to carry on living even though their loved one has passed away. Bowlby makes clear that the stages of the grieving process can re-arrange and overlap and comments that ALL stages of the grief process may even occur at the same time and that the amount of time spent in each may be influenced by a number of factors including age, personality, and the conditions surrounding the death of the loved one.

The 4-step process is as follows:

Shock and Numbness – Feelings of unreality and de-personalization (i.e. "This isn’t happening to me."), people in this stage practice "self-protective" behaviors, which makes them appear stoic but that is just a defense mechanism against pain.

Yearning and Searching – Also known as "pining", the bereaved longs to be with the deceased. Some say they see or hear the deceased during this stage. The bereaved speculates how they will get along without their loved one. This is a long stage for many, but some pass through it rather quickly.

Disorganization and Despair – Mourning sets in. The bereaved may experience deep depression or despair and feelings of bleakness. Some individuals require therapy during this time, especially when anguish hinders everyday activities or results in contemplation of suicide.

Reorganization – The bereaved "assimilates" their loss. The person who has reached reorganization is now learning how to live life without their loved one. This stage may represent a redefinition of life for many individuals.

There is no exact amount of time for each of the first three stages and anyone can get trapped in one for an extended amount of time. This is not a dilemma as long as it does not hinder things like the person’s job or personal relationships. If that point is reached, it is helpful for a friend to intervene and aid the bereaved in looking for professional help.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Are you ready to start a family?

It is a common question among many single and married people alike, especially when it is highly likely that one will be around in about nine months. Whether a couple are planning on having a child or not, it is a question that many will ask as they start to realize the responsibility involved in raising one. At first, it can be an intimidating thought or an exciting one, depending on the circumstance or situation. For some, it can be exciting to anxiety while for others it can go from anxiety to excitement; regardless of which it is, the question ultimately comes up: “Will I be a good enough parent to this new life?”

Children take a lot of consideration because they are such a large responsibility for about 18 years. You cannot decide halfway through raising a child that you just do not want to do it anymore. It is something that needs to be well thought out, but one has to be careful not to think about it too much. As mentioned before, the thought of having a child can bring about mixed emotions, such as anxiety or worry and excitement. It can be frightening to think about having someone around that would be so dependent on you, while it can be an exciting to watch a person go from being completely dependent to a well-rounded, independent addition to society. Many may think about it so much that they reach a point where they feel they are fifty-fifty on the subject.

If you feel you are in a situation where having a kid might be a possibility, speaking with an online counselor could be a very good idea. Online therapy would help you be able to add some suggestions or advice, and would be able to answer any questions or concerns you may have. Even if a child is on the way, an online therapist can be a great person to speak to about any worries or concerns that might arise. An online counselor can also help a couple, or a single parent, to prepare their home and themselves for a new addition to their family.

One might feel that online counseling would only be something to be considered if there were problems or concerns, but speaking with an online therapist can help a couple who feel they are ready fully prepare for the new responsibilities of parenthood. They can also be someone that parents can consult from time to time after the child is born. In the end, the online counselor or therapist cannot make the ultimate decision on whether or not you are ready to have a child. They are there to give you an objective opinion, as well as any help that you need. It is, in the end, up to you to decide whether you are ready to raise child. Only you can really know whether you are mentally ready; that you really do want to have a child. No one can make that decision for you. If you have too many doubts, there is no harm in. When you are ready, you will know.

If you or anyone that you know would care for more information regarding this post, feel free to visit http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Should you stay or go in your relationship?

There comes a time in many relationships, whether a couple are just dating, are engaged, have been married for a short time or have been together for many years, when the question may arise of whether a person should stay and try to work with their relationship or leave. Most would say that this is, in most cases, a difficult decision where one or both parties involved may be weighing the pros and cons of staying together in order to determine what course of action would be the best for them to make. Rarely is this an easy decision, especially for couples who were strongly attached in the beginning.

Humans are hardly a rational or logical race when it comes to any number of things. One of the biggest reasons for this is that humans, both male and female, regardless of whether they want to admit it or not, base most of their decisions and choices on how they feel. Call it intuition, instinct or a gut feeling; emotions play one of the largest roles when making decisions, especially when it comes to relationships. It is hard to be completely rational or even a little logical for many, because it is ultimately the emotions, or feelings that bring a couple together. Think about how people talk about their relationships, about what makes the relationship a good or bad one. It all comes down to how a person feels about the relationship they are in; about how the relationship makes them feel inside. Good relationships will often make a person feel happy, content and secure, while a bad relationship can make a person feel helpless, frustrated, upset, depressed, and even frightened.

When first considering whether one should stay or leave, the individual must first put some thought into whether their relationship makes them happy or not. If it, for the most part, makes the person happy and content, then the next step should be figuring out what they can do in order to improve on the troubled relationship to make it work. Staying and making it work should be the first action a person considers if their relationship has the potential to be a good one that can grow and become better. If the relationship doesn’t make a person happy, and they feel only sadness, upset, or fear, the first thought should be whether or not the relationship can be turned around. This, of course, depends greatly on the situation and what it is that is causing the relationship to be an unhealthy one. If it is a situation that can be worked on so that both parties can change their ways, are both willing to work on improving their relationship so that it can become something better that will last a long time, then it is definitely a situation where it would be worth the effort to stay and work with it.

If you or anyone that you know would care for information regarding this post, feel free to visit http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com

Monday, June 1, 2009

Can your relationship be saved?

There are many couples out there, or even individuals who believe that their marriage is beyond help. There are a number of reasons for this, some of them justified because of abuse or some other complication that basically prevents a relationship from working. There are many marriages where a couple may have tried everything they can think of in order to make things work, while others feel that there is nothing that they can possibly do to improve their relationship. Regardless of what those involved in a ‘bad’ marriage believe, there is no possible way that the marriage will survive if neither party involved are willing to put the effort in to make it work.

It is not uncommon for people to get married without talking about the important subjects involved in marriage first. Despite efforts to encourage engaged couples into per-marital counseling, many will go around the counseling offered because they believe they have a healthy enough relationship already. What many will not realize, or will neglect to think about is that people continue to change as they live their lives. Situations or circumstances can also change that can put immense stress on a relationship. Life, while it can be predictable in many ways, can also be quite unpredictable. No one can really say they are completely sure of what will happen the next day. No one can be 100 percent positive that they will have their job tomorrow, or that their kids will be perfectly fine. As life changes around them, individuals change as well, which can either mean that a couple continue to grow together or continue to grow apart. Many, married couples may eventually find that they may have reached a point in their marriage where they feel it is time to call it quits, or get some help. Some will try communicating with their spouse, or look for help from their family or friends. What many will not try is marital counseling.

It is entirely possible that a troubled marriage can be saved through online counseling or online therapy. Most who give it an honest try, are willing to work on their relationship to improve things and make it work have only positive things to say about online counseling. An online therapist, or online counselor, will work with the couple over the internet to help determine the issues that might be causing some difficulties in the relationship, and then work with the couple to improve the relationship. Marriage is not for the faint of heart and does require a lot of work by both parties involved. Online counseling is by no means going to work over night; it will take some dedication and commitment by both spouses in order for it to work. The online therapist is simply a guide that can give an objective view to a couple about their marriage, and help guide the couple down the right path to the best solution for them. There are many situations where it might be best that a couple separate, but there are also many more marriages that can be saved. A couple will never truly know until they give it an honest try.

If you or anyone that you know would like more information on this post, feel free to visit http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com